A bone (to choke on)

[i took this off the end of the last post because i am dull and compulsive, but it leaves out the most important bit: the point. i've already been taken in a way i didn't fully intend, and understandably so. Let me say for the record that if i'm going to aim my gun at someone, it will be me. "Aiming" is not my goal; it is in fact something i've never been very good at ;) Rather, i'm going through a period of cynicism and self-loathing that wants to eat me whole, and i'm looking for some perspective. i'm looking for the church. --ed.]


i just can't help but think that maybe 'the church' is comprised of those whom Jesus called "friends" (of which i am certainly one because i'm so dang important). And lately i'm driven to despair at how poor a friend i've been to others, at how few people i've been willing to lay it down for. i'd like to say that i'm humbled and grateful to those of you who have given some blood for me; and i invite your rebuke and correction on behalf of those i've failed. If we're a sorry lot, i'm afraid i'm the sorriest of all. And i'm not very hopeful that my tricky defense will work with God.