Third Savage

You will be surprised to find out that it's a girl. i'd post up a pic (and, indeed, still probably will) only she was a li'l camera-shy, and her arms and a knee thrown over her face.

Lost marble

"What would it have been like if we'd finished our conversation?" Only that's not quite it. Don't know why, exactly, but it might drive me mad. Maybe too specific. "What would it have been like if we'd finished a conversation?" Maybe the tense is wrong. "What would it be like if we finished a conversation?" "What would it be like if we finished the conversation?" It's like the chorus to a song stuck in my head that i don't remember all the words to, only it's not a song. There's a voice and a context attached to a question, but it's like trying to remember part of a dream, and i don't know if it was real or even made any sense in the first place. Only the memory strikes a chord with some as-yet-inaccessible venue in my brain that makes it seem so lucid it's nearly palpable. If i can just get the words right, it seems like the whole memory would just click into place. "What if our conversation should continue?" "How would you feel?" "How would you like to continue this conversation?" Something like that. "Would it be o.k. if we continued this conversation?" Subjunctive. Was it dark or light there? Emotional cathexis-- can't say. Resonant voice or flat? Male or female? Natural or disarming? Inside or outside? "How would you like to continue this conversation?" Whispered or unconcerned? "Ach! That we should again find it thus possible to carry forth with such a palatable thread of interlocution." Probably not, but did it seem palatable? Uncomfortable? Emphasis on the time? "Maybe we should finish this conversation later." "When can we finish this conversation?" Sometimes it washes over me like the solution to a problem, but i can't grab hold of it-- too slippery. If i could just think of why it seems so important... "Will there be time to finish this conversation later?" "Would you mind if we finished our talk later?" Almost, but i don't know how. Absolutely maddening.

Happy Easter

i hope you all have a happy Easter, and can find new confidence that Jesus has been raised from the dead.

Hard Drive Crash

On wed. at work i had a seizure. Naturally enough, they called an ambulance, so i went to UNMH around 11:30 a.m. we were there 'til about 2:30 a.m. the following morning. At some point during all that, i had a second seizure (owing at least partially to the fact that i sat in triage for over seven hours before anyone saw me.) Anyhow, wed. is a li'l vague for me, as is thurs. But i did get to see a well-oiled rendition of social medicine in action-- in fact, i worked for one. Poetry in motion. Just veeeeery slow poetry.

Once

i'll make a movie recommend: even if you don't like me, or respect my odd opinion on life you should watch "Once." It's a super well thought out bit o' celluloid, and unlike the legion of insipid chick flicks it comes nauseatingly near joining, it manages-- like the Red Baron having won a nerve-snapping dogfight-- to barrel-roll out of harm's way in the last moment. In one movie i came to realize that 1) relationships are sometimes more nuanced than we're comfortable with them being, 2) i should have been born Irish, and 3) despite all my intuitions to the contrary,* i was, in fact, in the mood for a whole bunch of dark beer. At any rate, i'll write down the lyrics to the first song on the soundtrack, as it's become a favorite song of mine du jour-- There're bits i don't think i'd be offended by should they grace my headstone. Cheers.

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that

Words fall through me
Always fool me
And I can't react

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Refrain:
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly
Eyes that know me
And I can't go back

Moods that take me
And erase me
And I'm painted black

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly
Sing your melody
I'll sing along



*i've never actually experienced such an intuition, but it's statistically possible that one might spontaneously spring forth within me. Take for support in that direction the widespread acceptance of the theory that we all spontaneously evolved from strings. What were the chances of that happening,eh?