Harried Bear

Aeon has a bear named Hairybear. He procured Hairybear-- who is a teddy with one of those strange hair-pieces that femmes tie their hair up with, and which is supposed to blend in with their hair wrapped round his neck-- as a method of getting him to stop yanking out his own hair. It worked, and Hairybear has become a necessary ingredient in his sleep pattern, and a pretty darn good conversation partner. Only i've noticed some funny uses that Aeon has for Hairy, that have an eerie correlation with what i-- as a bigger person-- tend to use my own friends for. First, and most obviously, he's a boy, and thus uses Hairy as both a melee and projectile weapon. And to be fair to 'im, what're friends for? With the extensions, he makes a wicked flail. Also (and mildly more disturbingly) he takes out his anger on poor Hairy. When he gets punished, he tends to inflict the same brand of wrath on his bear.

But here's the one i just recently noticed-- the thing that sent me in here musing: i put him down for a nap a li'l bit ago, and he didn't want one (which is not terribly unusual). i usually put up the baby gate in situations like that so he'll finally give up the fight and go his grumpy butt to bed. When he gets at all tired, he becomes attached to Hairybear; that's the nature of their relationship. But today, and a few times in the past, he came up to the gate complaining about the unfair burden i'd yoked him with, and in a moment of serendipity he hucked Hairybear over the gate. Then he looked at me and at Hairy, very clearly assured that i'd understand the need for them to be together and would have no choice but to haul him over to Hairy and back into the Promised Land.

Importantly, it didn't work out so well for him. In fact, it didn't take him very long to realize that he'd really rather have his bear back, even if that meant staying in his room. It made me think of people dear to me that i've either pushed away, or tried to push away, thinking somehow that it would bring us both to a better place-- and never considering that it might actually mean losing a dear relationship. And the number of times i've done just that... It'd be fair to say that i'm a slow learner.

The moral, of course, is that i would probably have more friends if i could just mature in the ol' Abstract Planning Department past my two-year-old.