Kibitzing Thereunto II
The initial Tricky Bit to Love is that there really isn't a Limit to the Emotional Attachment/ Sacrifice in the Demand. Obviously Jesus took the Whole Thing pretty far. (And it wasn't just Dying For the Cause, or even Living For Other People-- that's all seemingly doable; it was the Living and the Dying with an awful, beautiful sort of Understated Uncertainty under the constant aspect of demonic Ignominy: That's mind-wrenching, silencing, stilling. But that's for a different installment.) At first, that would seem to drastically simplify things (and, indeed, in the End it almost certainly does). If Absolutely Everthing Possible is demanded of you in order to Love someone in a given Moment, then a lot of Equivocation and Worry, Thumb-Twiddling and Pathetic Mewling, Second-Guessing and Hesitation in general is cut out from the Get-go.
The Tricky Bit rears its Silver-Tongued Maw when Love seems to demand (let's say) two counterpoised, yet mutually opposing Positions from the would-be Lover-- without Limit. Obviously, there is a Problem in endeavoring to accomplish any two mutually exclusive Undertakings simultaneously; but to accomplish each with Infinite Vim and Attention (or Emotional Attachment and Sacrifice, as the Case may be)-- crazy!
i may very well want to give my life up for this Friend or this Enemy, or embrace this Cause, but my Family or my Circumstance demands otherwise-- and in the Name of Love. So, finally, i squat alone at the edge of the Habitat with my back to one Demand or the Other glancing nervously about me for any low-flying Responsibility; and i throw Peanuts and Pearls through the incontrovertible Bars of the Cage in Hopes that it'll accidentally demonstrate a little Love to the Alone on the other side. And i know that soon i'll have to quit my Attention and Sacrifice to This, and move on to the Next; and Nothing i'll have done will have been Limitless after all.
i'm afraid there are too many Obligations and People to Love to actually get to Love any of 'em very Infinitely.
The Tricky Bit rears its Silver-Tongued Maw when Love seems to demand (let's say) two counterpoised, yet mutually opposing Positions from the would-be Lover-- without Limit. Obviously, there is a Problem in endeavoring to accomplish any two mutually exclusive Undertakings simultaneously; but to accomplish each with Infinite Vim and Attention (or Emotional Attachment and Sacrifice, as the Case may be)-- crazy!
i may very well want to give my life up for this Friend or this Enemy, or embrace this Cause, but my Family or my Circumstance demands otherwise-- and in the Name of Love. So, finally, i squat alone at the edge of the Habitat with my back to one Demand or the Other glancing nervously about me for any low-flying Responsibility; and i throw Peanuts and Pearls through the incontrovertible Bars of the Cage in Hopes that it'll accidentally demonstrate a little Love to the Alone on the other side. And i know that soon i'll have to quit my Attention and Sacrifice to This, and move on to the Next; and Nothing i'll have done will have been Limitless after all.
i'm afraid there are too many Obligations and People to Love to actually get to Love any of 'em very Infinitely.
posted by c at 1:45 AM
2 Comments:
For whatever reason, I am feeling ya kid. I mean exactly. There are not enough hours in a day to do "what love requires."
Today is a day of deep frustration for me. Sin, responsibility and guilt are all crashing down. And love......????
Well, thats all for my quasi-confession.
:(
i hate it when people say that they'll pray for me-- and that's all. i mean, first of all, doesn't God already know what i need? (For that matter, i'm pretty vocal about what i want also.) What i really want is for someone to be there; for someone to cry all over; for someone to confess to; for someone to hold my lazy butt accountable. Now having said that, and knowing full well what a hypocrite i am, i will pray for you because i'm too broke and tied-down to fly to China and be your church proper-like. But i'll love you without limit from this conveniently extreme distance.
i do very much appreciate your "confession," and if i can be anything for you beyond a sniping cynic, i'd love to give it a try. Thank you, jw.
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